Things That Keep Me Awake

1.  My living situation

     I don't have a job.  People are coming to look at the apartment so there's a chance somebody will take over the lease.  I have a roommate that doesn't have family close that she can move in with.  We could get a cheaper apartment but again...I don't have a job.  Cheap apartments aren't really close to all of the places I've put applications in.  Too many variables, I just don't know which path to take.

2. I DON'T HAVE A JOB!!!!!

    I need some MONEYYY.  I guess I'm lucky I don't have my car right now so I don't have to worry about the parking tickets piling up.

3. School

    Why didn't I just stay in school?  How can I get back in school?  Wait, what would I go to school for?

4. Future

    Am I ever going to be able to apply for a job that requires more than an IQ of 80?  What do I really want to do?

This is where I start entertaining things I dream about.

I want to make things.  I'm currently obsessed with furniture.  This came about after refinishing a porch swing at my dad's house.  I've secretly looked at the furniture design programs at UALR and SCAD but here's where I snap back to question #3 so let's get back to brighter things.

I have this idea to make a really big mixed media piece but I don't know how to get my hands on the materials needed.  Also, I want to make chairs, tables out of unorthodox materials and quilts that would make your grandmother gasp.  I need to learn how to reupholster because it costs a lot of money, requires advanced skill and, most importantly, I think I would enjoy it.

More than anything, I want to enjoy my life.  I want to be challenged.  I want to make enough money to live comfortably.  I know that stress will always be a factor but I would like to think that I will be able to go to sleep knowing that I surpassed my potential (or at least met it).  

I have a few friends that are older than me and they all agree that you never quite figure everything out.  Maybe it's true.  However, I'd like to start moving forward in life so that I can see for myself.

I'm whining.  I have all of my limbs, no diseases, my family and friends are incredible, I'm not in jail (ahem), I live in a really great apartment with electricity and running water and tomorrow is a brand new day that is full of potential.

In the meantime, please check out the advertisements on this page so that I might make rent next month.  Thank you!