Get a Damn Job

The job search continues...

At my old job I grew very tired of seeing people who were taking advantage of "The System." 
Me: Do you work?
PT: Nope
Me: Are you in school?
PT:  Nope
Me:  How many kids do you have?
PT: 3
Me: *Sigh*
I don't like it.  The more children they have, the more money they get from the government.  Thus, the cycle continues through their children.  Nobody actually tries to get ahead, nobody wants their lives to be better.

There are some people who break the cycle and that's great, but I'm not talking about them.

Everybody says that it's tough to get a job in this economy, maybe so.  I think it all depends on how picky you are.  So back to the paper...

Jobs listed include mowing grass at the Country Club (I'm applying), Proof Reading/Run Engraving machine (You know I'm applying), Tool Room Attendant (Yup), Kennel worker(Sure), Bank Clerk (Yesss), and a slew of other jobs...all on the first page.  Five solid job leads plus I've already had two interviews.  All of these jobs sound interesting to me, they don't pay crazy good but it's a job.  Steady income so I can pay my bills.  Earning your own money instantly qualifies you as a productive member of society.  I'm ok with that.

Time to Muster.

So I got fired from my 9-5, err 0730-1600, job Monday (04/11/2011).  I worked at that hospital for about 3.5 years, in three different positions before they got rid of me.  Other than that, my work history has been peppered with a long list of jobs that lasted a maximum of six months.

Back to the point...After spending so much time at one place, I grew very comfortable and unwilling to take a risk.  I've been thinking about quitting for a while, walking in one day and handing in my two weeks notice without a plan.  They beat me to it I guess.

Two hours before I got fired, I landed an interview for the next day (Tuesday) at one of the best hospitals in my area, I've been putting applications in for the last six months so the timing couldn't have been more perfect.  Actually, it would have been better if they had called when I put my first application in but who am I to be picky?

Monday is a particularly good day in my circle of friends because we all join together for food and libations at somebody's house for an event that we call "Urban Family Dinner."  When I announced my new employment status, my friends greeted me with condolences and calls to action.  "Who do we start calling?"  "A new position opened up at the TV station, I'll talk to the lady tomorrow."  Seriously, you have no idea what it is to have good friends until you've become a member of this circle.

Wednesday I had a lunch date with a friend at the Clinton School and I realized that things were actually going to work out really well.  My roommate and I took a long walk by the river and a sense of calm just washed over me.  I don't have to dread working tomorrow and I'm not completely broke...I can literally do whatever I want, not just for Thursday, but Friday, Saturday and every day after that.  This feeling of freedom has led me to say I'm "at Liberty" instead of "unemployed" when asked the inevitable "What do you do?" question.

Thursday was my interview at the TV station which went better than any interview I've had before.  Lunch at Hanaroo for some nom nom time with tuna.  Yummm.  Friday I made the trip up to my dad's house and I've been refinishing an old porch swing.  We don't have a power sander, so I've been using my biceps for power.  I really enjoy it and the chair looks great...perhaps I'll open a wood shop...

Dinosaur Vomit.

So I used to work as a "Patient Representative" in an ER.  Basically, I admitted patients into the ER.  You'll notice I'm using past tense...more on that later.

Anyways, I was working in the ER on a particularly busy day when a man and his son stepped up to my cubby. 

Me: Name?
PT Father:  _______
Me: Great, what's your address?
PT Father: ____________

Everything is going along swimingly until a patient is rolled into the front door... 
Then it turns into this...

Me: Are you employed full time?
Pt Father:  ((RAAAAAWWWWRRRR-patient in the waiting room vomits into sick bag))
Me:  I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
PT Father:  ((RAAAAWWWWRRRR-patient in the waiting room vomits into sick bag))  blah blah blah
Me:  Great, What's your cell phone number?
Pt Father: _____________
Me:  Ok, does your wife work?
PT Father:  ((RAAAAWWWWRRRR-patient in the waiting (PIW) room vomits, yet again) 
Me:  I'm sorrry, could you repeat that?
PT Father:  Yeah __
Me:  Ohh, OK, what's her number?
PT Father:  ((RAAAWWWWRRRRR-PIW vomits....again))
Me:  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
[10 minutes later]
PT Father:  Umm, are you ok?
Me:  Yes.  (still laughing) 

One of my supervisors happened to be in the ER and watched the whole thing unfold.  This patient managed to throw up every single time I asked this guy a question, what was I supposed to do??

She threw up like I imagine a dinosaur would.  RAAAAAWWWWWRRRRR!!!!!

Ironically, this is how I throw up when I get any type of alcohol in my system besides beer.  RAWR.