Vector 6 Part II

I'm walking from house to house leaving a hint of cat pee everywhere I go but I'm still smiling because I'm making money walking around on a really nice day.  300 flyers?  This is cake.

After about 10 houses I start making my way downhill.  Oh sheesh, put a roller-coaster track on here and we've got a hill steep enough to propel the car around loops and dips, fast enough to cause G forces that rival a shuttle launch.  The ad didn't say to bring a diaper.

Then I start playing this little game with myself: point out everything I would change about the house I'm at.  I entertain the idea of starting a business repainting front doors then I start making my way back up the hill. I'm thinking the whole time that the whole route can't be this steep.  It took me almost two hours two do a small section on the map and Boss said it was going to take three hours to finish the whole thing.

My friend Chris calls and starts telling me about the trouble he had getting from DC to Little Rock on standby.  Small my potatoes, my friend.  Then he's asking me when I'm coming over which makes me want to quit immediately but I put my head down and keep moving.

I'm walking down a huge hill with no houses when the Lady in Charge calls to check on me.
LiC:  What's up girl?  How's it going?
Me:   Walking down this hill, I'm not sure if I'm following the map correctly.
LiC:  Where you at?
Me:   Uhh
LiC:  Alright I'm coming to check on you.

She shows up smoking a Newport in the Crown Vic and checks out my map, the ink has started to bleed because I'm sweating.
LiC:  Girl I don't know why he has you coming down this big hill, get in.

So I get in, she's nice enough.  We drive down the mountain just to turn around and take a right so I'm back on track.  I get dropped off and quickly realize that this part of Vector 6 isn't going to be any easier.  It would have taken less time if I didn't feel so bad about cutting through the carefully manicured yards.  Maybe I should go into landscaping, these people are spending a ton of money on their yards.

My outfit was completely inappropriate for the weather even with my sleeves and pants rolled up.  The backpack had already stained my white shirt brown when I got a call from LiC.

LiC:  What up girl, you almost done?

I had just finished handing out 100/300 and I feel safe to admit that I was already doubling up at some houses.

Me:  Ummm, nope, are people done already?
LiC:  Well the Cowboy done quit on me, Josh has been done, I can't get in touch with the Diva, and I don't know what's going on with those other folks.
Me:  I've thought about quitting but I don't want to leave you guys hanging.  How is he already done?!?
LiC:  Man they got my homegirl Megan out here climbing mountains, all of their houses were right next to each other.
Me:  haha Of course, well I'm going to keep going.

I work a little longer and call the roommate...this just makes me want to go home.  Whomp, whomp.  I hang up and go back to it.

My sister calls to check on me; I'm glad that somebody knew where I was because I was certainly the closest I've ever been to passing out from heat exhaustion.  She met me with a huge cup of ice water and took me to the store to get a couple of drinks I can keep in my pee pee bag.  She helped me with a bunch of houses and completely boosted my morale.  She went on her way, promising not to leave me in the "bowels of West Little Rock" forever.

I'm soon confronted with the biggest hill yet.  Awesome.  The mailman has already passed me a few times on my route but our paths cross when I'm moving at a pace that could maybe rival a sloth.

Mailman:  Need a push?

This just sends me into a fit of giggles, yes I needed a push...it would have been awesome if he had offered me a ride.  Whatever.  We start to discuss how hard that route is and I find out that USPS would never make their postmen walk such a route and he told me to start cutting through the beautiful lawns.  

I took his advice but I was already so beat that I was relieved when the Lady in Charge called to tell me it was time to quit.  I handed out 264 flyers.  I didn't go to 264 houses but I walked past at least that many.

My sister came to get me and took me back to the Best Buy parking lot to collect my day's wages.  He felt so bad for me that he gave me $40 instead of $26.  I've never worked so hard for money but as my sister said, "You got paid and now you know that this is something you don't want to do for the rest of your life."

Boss offered me an interview for Full-time ad sales with his company...I'm meeting with him on Tuesday.  Also, my face got sunburned so I don't have to worry about make-up for at least a week.  (RAWR)  My chest sunburn kills but it gives me something to complain about.

Vector 6

I got a job.  Sort of.  I search Craigslist every single day for a new job and I clicked on "gigs" yesterday morning.  There it was:

       Flyer Delivery-This Week
We need 12 Delivery Persons for This week.
Delivering advertising information door to door in Little Rock. No selling. Just put the information on                                  the door and go to the next house. Wear your Ipod, enjoy the weather, and get paid ! You must be physically able to walk 3+ miles per shift.

Choose your Day(s) and Shift(s)"

Well I can do that.

I woke up at 0730 (we had to meet at 0800) and check the weather, supposed to be cool today so I put on my only pair of jeans, a white long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of sneakers.  My sister drove me to meet the group at the back of the Best Buy parking lot over in West Little Rock.  We're running a little bit late but I was thinking about backing out since we left my apartment so I wasn't terribly concerned.  Five minutes late, we spot the group in the parking lot...ohhh great.

My sister pulls up to the group and we watch them for a few minutes before she talks me into walking over to them.  We're all gathered around the boss' Volvo...me, three people with Eastern European accents (rare in the South), a huge redneck who brought his African American friend in his enormous truck, one of my sister's friends from church (nice guy), the diva, and a legit cowboy in his 50s who has seen his fair share of Marlboros.

The big redneck takes his place as "leader" of the group and starts asking questions about the map taped to the Volvo with different sections labeled V1-V7.  "So uh, how do you decide who gets which vector?"

My brain skips back to Conceptual Physics ("Physics without so much math so it's easier for people with your abilities to understand."-Sister Joan) in 10th grade.  Pretty sure vector is a measurement of quantity. I looked it up, it is "a quantity possessing both magnitude and direction." (Thanks, Dictionary.com)  I love being right.  Back to the story.


"Well I just hand them out to whoever."-Boss
So the job is to hang these little booklets on front doors in a good neighborhood.  The book is just advertisements and a few coupons...all local businesses.  I can deal with that.  We get paid 10 cents for each booklet we hand out.  Cool, 10 houses,  one dollar.  Got it.


The map is labeled with arrows in red or blue so as to distinguish different routes.  Each route has an estimate of how many houses written under the arrows.  300, 330, 220, 450...I was disappointed when I got Vector 6..."Only 300?  Crap, I would rather do 450 so I can make a little bit more money today," I thought.  Eh something is better than nothing so I kept my mouth shut.  The Eastern Europeans are going to a separate neighborhood but we all have to wait for the shift supervisors to get there with the bags.  Soo..we wait.  A few people leave to get breakfast, I return to my sister's car to discuss what I've gotten myself into. 


Three white 90s model Crown Victorias roll up and the passengers get out with black duffel bags that they carry over to the Volvo.  I walk over to collect my bags, we have to get our shift supervisor's number before we leave so we can call her if we need more bags or if we get in some sort of trouble.  She has to ask one of the guys what her number is..her phone has recently been stolen.  Whatever, I'm ready to make some moneyyy.  Finally.


Heather takes me to my starting point, it's a really nice neighborhood so I'm ready to go.  My booklets are loaded into a backpack that our cat peed on a few years ago but it's all I had and surely the smell would be gone by now..right?  Wrong.  As soon as I put it on, the weight of 300 booklets brings it closer to me...closer to my face...I smell it.  It's fine...I'll walk fast and the smell will just trail behind me. 


To be continued...