Servicing my Community

So I guess a bit of back story would be necessary so that this next entry would make sense. 

I had a bit of a problem with drinking when I got fired from my job.  Maybe "bit" is a bit of an understatement...I drank a lot. 

I am currently suffering the consequences. 

I would show up late for my beloved job and I didn't understand why they didn't like it.  I still stand by the fact that I was really good at my job; I was knowledgeable, understanding and able to do more than my job title required.  Honestly, I didn't mind because, I really liked it.  I felt like it was preparing me for something bigger.

Then they got fed up with me being unreliable and I got the boot.  I was bitter for a long time but now I understand their point.  

I don't think I would have gotten to this point had I not had my downfall. 

So after the boot, I got DWI numero dos.  Yikes.  I cried all day on my 24th birthday because, of course, that was just on the heels of all my other troubles.  Seriously though, I don't want you to feel sorry for me.

It took a great deal of humbling and a few kicks in the pants BUT, I think I'm on the right track. 

I'm in a supervisor position now and I know what trouble it makes when I can't rely on people to show up on time or at all.  I can honestly say that I never understood the repercussions of my actions.  It makes me feel like a fool but sometimes it takes people a bit longer to learn the simple lessons. 

It's been just over a year now since I got fired and I can honestly say that I'm in a much better place now.  I've grown up and taken responsibility for myself.  I'm not completely independent but I'm working on it. 

Sometimes it takes time to sort the shit out but, it will happen eventually.

-

Birfday Smurfday

I turned 24 today...whomp whomp.  I don't know what it is about birthdays, but I just can't get into them like everybody else.  My birthday is not a National Holiday, it is just another day that I get shmammered and wake up feeling awful the next day and resolving the issue by doing it again that night.  Soo this year was a little bit different because I recently purchased a ticket on the Sober Train.

It's a lot smoother ride than I'm used to and I'm starting to feel very comfortable.  My former Train, named "Live Fast, Die Young," which screamed down the tracks, threatening to derail at any moment finally pulled into the station.  It took a long time, two dwi's (ok one is pending trial), crashing my car into a tree in the middle of nowhere (which very well could have killed me), disappointing everyone that I love so very much (yet again), and a trip to the worst hospital in America (in my opinion), to finally open my eyes. I've been sober for a week and a half, it feels pretty good, weird...but good.

I go to bed early and wake up feeling fine.  It has probably been three years since I've actually had a good night's sleep.  I'm scared about the trouble I'm in and I still haven't found a job.  But, I'm working on it, and now my head is clear enough to take confident steps in the right direction.  I don't know what the future holds but I know that I will now be able to see the path I'm on and make things happen.  #Winning.